Jumana’s Reflection Blog
As I sit more deeply with our interview, there are several core pieces that rise to the surface of potency. The first is the absolute necessity of cultivating a revelatory, true, and reverent, receptive relationship with what is actually present in the womb, in the moment, as she is in truth. In your body and life stream. When you have a direct line of communication to the indwelling oracular wisdom in the womb, you can navigate the disorientations and illusions of our world (particularly those that surround the feminine, and Woman) with a trustworthy, indisputable compass that ALWAYS points towards wise self-advocacy, discernment, and beauty.
A crucial consideration when establishing a true energetic connection to the womb is to make sure you are sinking below concept, beyond visualization, beyond what you expect to find or what you have been told you will find, in order to make a TRUE contact with Her, and hear Her, and know Her. Accessing your womb space does not happen through a diagnostic or penetrating approach. The deep feminine is what opens the deep feminine. She opens Herself. So find a deep feminine poise, a reverent, empty, receptive, subtle touch. The way the warmth of the sun invites a flower petal to open, or the way a pilgrim approaches the sacred pool she has traveled months to find – that is the touch of your awareness on your own womb space.
A practice that can help with this discernment is to take some moments to note what you think you will find, what you are imagining your womb will be, what you just heard me, or Shona, or anyone else describe about our own experiences. Name it and acknowledge it so that you can locate it in your psyche, then sink below it into the state of receptivity and emptiness that will allow Her to reveal Herself to you. She is unfathomable in Her depth, breadth, and potential. This is the mystical practice of allowing your womb to illuminate and teach you about what the deep feminine really is, how She moves, what She desires or knows. Specifically, in and through your incarnation, in this very moment. You are stewarding something in your woman’s body that is eternal, ever-changing, supremely regenerative, and incorruptible. Open and welcome Her more fully into your receptive awareness, often, for even just 30 seconds if that’s all you have.
The other piece that we touched on in our interview that I feel deserves another moment is the naming of an initiatory context around sexual intimacies, particularly the powerful and often challenging ones. It is all too easy to slip into subtly victimized or entitled patterns when sexual intimacies become complicated or painful. You can harvest the power of the experience, and ride the current of the initiation you have chosen to take yourself through via this relationship and the potency of sexual energy. Especially if you remember that you are in the midst of an initiation, and most initiations involve an ordeal. It takes time to thoroughly initiate, throughout your whole being. It requires a patient, gentle, loving, deeply listening, eyes-wide-open kind of presence with yourself. And your partner!!
Powerful, complex sexual relationships are alchemical in nature. It is an alchemy that brings you and another into union in order to change both of you, in ways you won’t be able to control or foresee. There is tremendous vulnerability in this, and just like any alchemical transformation, it requires containment, a vessel, a crucible to hold the potency (and sometimes chaos) that is released. Listen deeply to any needs or desires that arise around fidelity, safety, communication, presence. Take the time to discern between what it feels like to want to control someone else, versus what it feels like to be following a deep need that must be met in order to craft the psychic, emotional, and energetic container that is necessary for you to fully flower, surrender, be changed by the alchemy.
And finally, remember deep down in your bones, that you are made for this, all of it. The Mother knew when She formed you that you would go on a journey of self-discovery, making and breaking boundaries, learning as you go, sleeping with the “wrong” people, binding yourself in initiatory relationships, betraying deep needs you didn’t yet know you had, learning over and over again if that’s what it takes. The womb, the deep feminine, is SUPREMELY regenerative. You just need some tending, and the willingness to drop underneath your own concepts of what you are capable of, into the actual regenerative potential of the womb. There is no choice you’ve made or sexual intimacy you cannot resolve through deep feminine cultivation and reverence for your full feminine capacity, especially with the support of other women on the same path. Restoration of virginity (aka purity, wholeness unto yourself) is a real thing, and fully within your embrace if you so choose.
All my love,