Amanda’s Reflection Blog
Dear Womb Illumination Sisters,
As I sit here today feeling into the collective of women gathering here to share this wisdom, I know that every one of you has a transmission to offer through your own womb. In order for you to allow that full transmission to emerge, there is a journey into your womb which must occur.
When Shona and I first spoke about my womb interview, one of the topics which we felt would be powerful to share was to explore grief and some of the darker emotions which are gateways into the womb wisdom. There were so many juicy topics to explore that we spent very little time with this topic, and I feel it would be helpful for you all to have a little more encouragement in this area. And this particular moon is supportive of this energy as well.
As we move into the month of September we are beginning to transition from Summer into the Autumn. Just as Mother Nature shares her full spectrum of expression in the shifting seasons, so do we as expressions of the Goddess. At this time we are moving towards less sunlight, and inviting more darkness into our lives. This is the time we begin the descent inwards. This new moon also coincides with an eclipse of the sun, further adding to the move away from the light.
The journey into full wom(b)anhood. is a journey of integration, and a journey into claiming all parts of self, including the dark and misunderstood parts. If we are to fully claim our power, and the immense capacity our womb contains as a gateway and oracle, we must journey into our own underground places and claim our inner “demons” and disowned parts of self.
The womb illumination journey is here to support you in owning your deepest feminine power, and I know this journey will not always be light, bright, golden, and easy, and I want to support you in being Ok with that. To claim your womb is to take the Heroine’s journey which requires courage, and grit, and deep devotion to your awakening. Are there any places inside which you are resisting dropping into? Are you holding onto undigested grief, rage, anger, or unprocessed sexual trauma and boundary crossings which you are afraid to allow yourself to acknowledge? The womb journeying invites you to start the descent inwards.
As my own womb began to open herself to me for the first time, and I became initiated into her magic and the sorcery, I was simultaneously going through a deep grieving process after the death of my father. What I discovered was that as long as I resisted feeling the immensity of loss, and pain, and grief, and anger, and the longing that truly was present for me, that I would prolong my own suffering, and also prevent myself from dropping into the power of my deeper feminine wisdom. For many women, we are fearful of the demons, and dragons, and “chaotic” emotions which reside in the lower parts of our bodies, and prefer to remain riding the surface of the upper chakra areas most of the time. However, when we have the courage to descend into our own underground we recover and reclaim power and treasures beyond our wildest imagination.
During the time that I was grieving, I was drawn to the story of ancient Sumerian Goddess Inanna and her descent into the underworld. She was the Queen of Heaven and Earth, and she chose to visit the Underworld in order to grieve her sister Ereshkigal’s ( Queen of the Underworld) husband’s death. As she descended into the Underworld she had to enter through 7 gates and at each gate remove an article of clothing such as her crown, her scepter, and her breast plate.. until she arrived finally, naked and bowed low. She spent 3 days and nights hanging dead in the underworld before she was retrieved and brought back to life. (Yes-this is the original tale of the resurrection long before Christianity). This is the tale of the Heroine’s Journey, and this is also the tale of the journey into our womb to claim our deepest power as a woman. This is the journey of the mature female. When Inanna returns from the underworld she has reclaimed a part of herself, and become whole.
This is actually the path of true self love. We can feel the presence of a woman who has owned her shadows, and claimed her full self. This is true feminine power, and this is a woman who has dropped fully into her body and her soul. This is a woman who is seated on her inner throne, and become a true Queen. This is the potential available to us, if we have the courage to descend.
I wrote this little piece at this time when I was delving into my womb, embracing my grief, and beginning to journey back into the light.”
“When you’ve been steeped in darkness, and tasted your depths, embracing your light is that much more sweet. Every woman’s path to union with the divine is journeyed through a descent. There is a face of the goddess who is young and golden and untouched, and then there is a goddess who has been to Hades, who has suffered, who has peeled away a layer at each gateway into the heart of darkness. Loss changes you, and there is no way to escape the suffering. But when we have the courage to descend, to offer ourselves fully to the experience of facing our shadows, an illumination occurs. A phosphorescent glow in the midst of the darkness. The way that coal glistens and shines in the dark, and diamonds are mined from deep underground. The pain is transmuted into something of inestimable value. We emerge above ground again one day with a smile that is tinged with something deeper in the eyes. A deeper capacity to love. A diamond faceted heart. With each descent more facets revealed, more places for the light to enter. And this journey must be experienced through the body, through our breath. The breath is our transportation into our depths. The resistance to the descent is the true cause of suffering and pain that persists; The desire to remain above the surface, shortening our breath and retreating from our bodies. Plunge, plunge into your depths goddess. Your true light will be revealed through your union and integration. The path to fully woman is wide and deep.”
During this dark new moon and eclipse of the sun, as we head into fall, I encourage you to embrace the darkness. Embrace the shadows, and all those inner dragons which are only beautiful parts of yourself waiting to be seen, and loved so you can claim your fullest power.
With deep love,